Ain't no sunshine
by MrsCuddles
Summary: Everything they knew bursted in one night. It's not hard to move on, it's just hard to leave behind what you are not supposed to bring along. Set after 2x13. Slightly AU.
1. Blueberries

**A/N: I have a whole story written out, but I'm revisiting it. I'm not sure I'll post it, but here we go. This was part of what I call the "Flesh and blood" universe, but I chose to leave that story a 3 chapter fic, since this is slightly AU and focuses on Paige trying to move on after the events of season 2. It involves two minor OC characters too.**

 **Season 3 "never happened" and once out of danger, Mike transferred to DC after forgiving her. Something that obviously messed Paige's head up. I may or may not update regularly, but hope you can enjoy it :)**

* * *

Mike brought the glass to his mouth and took a sip. The wine he bought at the store around the corner tasted dense and bitter under the base of his tongue. He watched Paige with the corner of his eye. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. Her freshly auburn hair enhanced the green of her eyes, making them surprisingly alluring. Even though they were empty, sad, tired. Far from being what he had once loved.

The thought spread a tingling warmth up his spine. It was barely 10pm and he had probably already drunk too much wine. He used to have a pretty good tolerance.

"I didn't think you'd call. I figured you'd throw my number away, first chance you had."

Setting his glass down on the counter, he focused on his cooking. It costed him everything to make that phone call. To re-open doors of his past that had been closed for years.

* * *

 _His thumb hovered over the first number for a while before Mike decided to make the call. This was wrong on so many levels. He had no obligation towards her. He was over her. He barely remembered her face until she'd showed up again._

 _He had hated her with all he had. He had torn her image in his head until it bled, before going on with his life._

 _There was no reason to do this._ _He could easily pretend that day hadn't happened._ _Yet something prompted him to do it. To call her._

 _The phone rang for barely five seconds before her voice came through the speaker in his car. His question came out quicker than he intended._

 _"What are you doing tonight?"_

* * *

Mike shrugged. He awkwardly dropped bits of onion and garlic in a pan and began sauting them until they turned translucent.

Paige watched him carefully. Why he was treating her like a normal person all of a sudden was a mystery to her. She didn't even know why he decided to invite her over. But she wouldn't waste this opportunity.

"The sooner we talk things through, the sooner you'll leave." He pointed out, dryly.

For some reason, though painful, those words didn't hurt like the ones from that morning. There was something different in his voice. No contempt, just something close to sympathy. Usually she would hate it, but it was Mike and she couldn't waste any chance with him. This was even more than she could ever ask for.

* * *

 _Paige couldn't quite make out what his secretary was saying but hopefully it wasn't her name. It was practically taboo to him and she didn't want to jinx it, not now that she finally gathered the courage to fly to DC._

 _Then she was in and everything stopped. It was like all the memories of them together surrounded her in a spiral._ _His eyes were glued to her in disbelief. Perhaps he didn't recognize her, or maybe he couldn't believe she would have the guts and the insolence of showing up._

 _She couldn't blame him, though._

 _"Paige."_

 _Mike was sitting at his desk, subtly stunned as he openly stared at her. His hands were still immersed in paperwork. An unusually crabby accent escaped his mouth when he sent the girl away._

 _Not once his eyes left hers._

 _As soon as the door closed, Paige released a shaky breath and smiled nervously. She gripped her purse and walked in small steps to his desk._

 _"Hi, Mike."_

 _The doubts she'd had until then disappeared when Mike didn't kick her out as she thought he would. Instead, he motioned for her to sit down._

 _Paige watched curiously as he signed a few papers and clicked furiously on his computer. She_ _struggled to hold back a painful smile. Mike had changed so much. The creases on his forehead were more defined, but other than that he still looked the same - yet he was different. She didn't know whether for better or for worse, but he definitely wasn't the polished guy she'd first met._

 _Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize he was calling her name._

 _"Huh?"_

 _"You." Mike repeated, as if reading her mind. Perhaps a bit too annoyed. "You look different."_

 _Her fingers brushed the dark strands falling on her chest. The realization that Mike knew little to nothing about her now hit her straight to the core._

 _"It's my natural color." She confessed. "I needed a change and I tried to get things back to how they were before…"_

 _The smile died on her lips when he abruptly picked his phone up to check his texts. As if he weren't interested in her presence and she was the last person worthy of his attention._ _Maybe it was true and she deserved it._

 _"Your office is quite the dream."_

 _It wasn't nor too big or too small but a slew of windows made it a lot brighter. The best part was the luxurious black leather couch. It was obvious that Mike was indeed still climbing the ladder, quite near to the top._

 _Mike grunted, tapping on his phone a few times before setting it back in his pocket. He casted a long look at her and folded his arms._

 _"You came to tell me this?"_

 _There it was. Her hope of arousing in him some sort of reaction vanished into thin air. There was indifference and a business-like tone in his voice. Like she was just some co-worker he had never been so deeply involved with._

 _Maybe this was a mistake. She should have never given in her therapist's insistence, nor Charlie and Paul's pleads._

 _"No." Paige finally concluded. Her throat went dry, but it didn't matter. She flew all the way there, she might as well go through with it._ _The force of her gaze made him divert his and for just one second, a flickery smile ghosted over his lips. "I came here to talk, Mike. Just that and nothing else."_

 _"You want to talk. After two years you came here to talk." Mike laughed sarcastically and slammed his pen down. Giving a nervous look around to check if anybody was spying on them, Paige leaned forward with a frown._

 _She couldn't believe he was so irritated by her presence to actually make a scene._

 _"It took me years," Paige began, clenching her fists to the point where her nails dug into her skin. To cling on something. To prevent the raging blue of his eyes from making her collapse. "After you left, things were so lousy that I almost blew up during a raid. I had multiple shrinks squeezing the life out of my fucking brain to figure out what the fuck was wrong with me. Believe me, I'm as pleased as you are to be here."_

 _Paige was well aware she was lying. However if Mike needed her lying about not being happy to see his eyes again, she would gladly do that._ _But God, she had missed him so much._

 _Not Mike, the lover. Just Mike. The shadow of the man who wasn't anymore._

 _"But I need this, Mike. I need some damn closure or I'll go crazy. All I'm asking is to talk so we can end all this. I know that I don't deserve your help but…" Paige bit her lip, refusing to make her voice tremble._

 _Mike looked at her for a while in silence, his jaw clenched tight. Finally, he casually mimicked her, leaning forward. Just enough to hiss at her._

 _"I forgave you, I have nothing else to say to you."_

 _"No, you're wrong." Paige shook her head gently. Extending her arm toward him, a breath escaped her lips in resignation. "We have everything and more to tell each other. But I understand."_

 _It didn't go unnoticed to her how Mike grimaced when her hand touched his chest to steal his pocket pen._ _She quickly scribbled the phone number to her hotel room on the right corner of a crumpled sheet._

 _Her fingertips burned like fire. That was the first time she touched him in about two years and the outline of his chest was enough to shake her emotionally._

 _Paige slid both objects toward him, without taking her eyes off his stern look. Mike followed her hand as if it were a mine ready to explode. As if there was nothing more dangerous in the world than Paige, the woman who succeeded in poisoning him with his own love._

 _"If you change your mind..."_

* * *

If tonight turned out fine, she would finally be free to start over and put all this behind herself.

She peeked over his shoulder and stole a blueberry from the pan, popping it in her mouth.

Mike gave her a small grin and Paige felt her cheeks burn slightly. That simple action brought back so many memories. Good ones. So much time spent trying to break the ice and all it took was a simple blueberry.

"I didn't know that chicken and blueberries could go together."

She jumped when the pan quipped as he sprayed the chicken breasts with white wine. He lowered the flame and untied the cloth around his waist, wiping his hands.

"I had plenty of free time when I transferred back to DC before I could go back to work. Bureaucracy goes for the long ones here."

The lightness of moments before instantly disappeared when he brought the glass to his mouth, seriously. Paige looked away. His eyes were too intense and she wasn't used to that particular shade of blue anymore.

"You never mentioned this. I'm sure Charlie would appreciate the recipe."

Why was this so difficult? It took her ages to accept the fact that she needed to come clean with Mike to finally become herself again. Why wasn't she talking? She prepared a whole speech about how things got out of control two years before.

Maybe it was the tension that had arisen between them that morning and that was now mysteriously gone. As if Mike gave up being done with her and considering her less than zero.

"We have everything and more to tell each other, right?"

Mike's voice shook her out of her thoughts and suddenly she found herself drawn to his eyes. For a moment that bound that used to tie her to him sprang back between them.

"Yes." She replied without missing a beat, despite the avalanche of thoughts that tickled her mind.

Mike raised his glass up to hers.

It was all too weird. That morning Mike had virtually ordered her to pack her bags and go back to where she belonged. Graceland. And now there she was, at his house, about to have dinner with him.

Suddenly Paige was afraid. Her hands were starting to shake. When she decided to do this she didn't realized how unready she was to feel his eyes watching her like that again.

"To honesty." He toasted. "Hopefully the second time's a charm."

Her heart stopped in her chest as their glasses clinked. Mike downed the wine in one swoop. He licked his lips and turned to the kitchen counter. As he adjusted the dining places, she fixed her eyes on his shoulders, petrified.

It took her a while to recover. Once again, he didn't sound as brutal as he did that morning. Those words felt strange, cryptic. It sounded like he was giving _them_ another chance, but she knew that wasn't the case.

She just couldn't understand the meaning to his words and she desperately wanted to.

Paige knew that the only reason why Mike let her in was to cut the last threads that bounded them together, not to mend those of something that was forever gone, but this was unexpected. She didn't know what kind of game he was playing, and it scared her.

For some strange reason, he agreed to help her get rid of the past and open up to a new beginning.

Maybe even a better one. But _without_ him.


	2. Craft dinner

**A/N: As I said, I have the story all written out, so it's just a coincidence that their dialogue reconnects with what somebody said in the reviews lol**

 **Just to make it clear, Mike doesn't hate her. But two years have passed and they live miles away from each other, never got a chance to talk about what happened, so of course things are pretty messed up.**

 **Thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting/DMing.**

* * *

A low music came from the living room and reached the kitchen with a soft jazz melody. The lights were dimmed and DC's colorful night skyline shone behind him, sitting across from her. A wide panoramic window opened over a huge portion of the city, making her feel like in a movie.

Except for, this was far from being a comedy.

"Why are you doing this? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's great. Really. I just didn't think you'd give in so easily." Paige asked, looking down at her plate.

She poked at her leftovers with the fork when she felt Mike's stare on her, her eyes low. He stopped mid chewing and wiped his mouth slowly.

"You thought I was going to put up more of a fight?"

All night long, they talked about everything. From Johnny's latest crazy ideas to Graceland's newest addition. But the real reason why she was there didn't come up until then.

"More or less, yeah." She confessed. Finally, she looked back at him. "What I did was horrifying... I was ready to go back to Graceland empty handed, to be honest. When I gave you my number-"

"-you thought I would tear it in pieces. I know." He completed for her. "I almost did."

His stare was strong and serious and she managed to hold it with equal strength, despite the quavering emotion burning inside of her.

"But just as I was about to, I remembered how much I've hated you and how much I've wanted you to suffer for what you did. It all just felt... incomplete, leaving things that way."

Paige nodded. If he only knew how bad she had felt all this time. How much she had truly suffered. How his absence reminded her everyday of what she did.

"There hasn't been a single day I haven't tortured myself for _it_. I swear, Mike, I never meant to go that far. It just sort of... happened. But as soon as it dawned on me that..."

Taking a deep breath, she held back the tears burning into her eyes.

It was difficult to keep it together like she originally planned to when Mike was there staring back at her. What a fool she was. That was what she came for, after all - what she had wanted for years - for him to listen to her and for them to talk things through. The fact that it was actually happening for real was making her an emotional wreck.

"...that you wouldn't be there anymore, I-"

"I know. Briggs told me." Mike picked at his napkin in his hands, looking down. A few moments of silence followed, until he placed his elbows on the counter and leaned forward. "The moment I saw you this morning I knew you were gone too. Everything about you is different, not just your looks. You used to be full of life, now you're..."

"...dead inside." Paige breathed out. Their eyes locked instantly. How come they didn't feel an inch of what they felt before, yet they could still complete each other's sentences? Maybe that was just it: Mike would always be the only one able to read her. The way she couldn't even read herself. "I know. I have been for a while now. Since the day I realized that my pride killed you."

"You didn't kill me, Sid did."

"Same thing."

"No, it's not. See, that's the point. When it happened, it was easy for me to say _'oh, you betrayed me, you have to pay for what you did to me'._ That's why it was also so easy for me to hate you that much. There was a moment there I actually hoped Sid would find you and kill you slowly, like he killed me - make you pay for what you did to me, you know?"

As much as it hurt to hear those words, something in her eased and she slowly felt the broken pieces of her soul recomposing. Only a greatest love can turn to deepest hate. If Mike was so hurt to actually wish her death, it meant that he still felt something for her.

Back then.

Because he didn't feel anything for her now, she was sure of it.

"But I had plenty of time to think about everything that went down and I came to the conclusion that we both made mistakes. Terrible ones."

"I'm not defensible, Mike. I won't hold it against you if you wanted me dead. What I did is outrageous."

It was.

There was never going to be a day she wouldn't feel disgusted with herself because of that. For some strange reason, Mike had forgiven her and maybe that was enough for him to feel at peace. But it wasn't for her - she would live with that one greatest regret for the rest of her life.

"So was burning Lina's body."

"Yes. But you weren't the one who killed her."

"Just like you weren't the one to kill me." He pointed out.

The intensity of his stare reached a breaking point for her. Even though his composure was still and unreadable. All Paige wanted was a sign. She just wanted him to react, somehow. But in the end, she knew that there was nothing uniting them anymore.

So why would he forgive her? Out of everything that happened between them, this was the one thing that made her go insane.

"I punished you to have somebody to blame, Mike. You paid with your life for eveybody's mistakes. How could you forgive me that?"

She was being selfish, but her only desire was a sign that he felt something for her. Though she knew that wasn't going to happen. How could he show a feeling that was completely non-existent?

Mike collapsed in his chair and his eyes stared off into space as he started speaking. She could almost see his mind recalling those painful times. But he was still impassive. Unmoved. Nothing about his body showed any kind of emotion.

Mike used to be a tangle of feelings, a great guy. Despite the years gone by, however, he was still the shell of a broken man she contributed to create. And she hated herself for it.

"At first it was something I didn't ever consider doing. But then I did."

He did. He forgave her. What she couldn't understand was why. Over the year and a half Mike spent in Graceland they became inseparable. Wherever Paige was, Mike would often be right by her side and viceversa. All the longing stares, the smiles, the laughs - their noses touching, their mouths seeking each other's lips, their kisses... if there was still a part of the old guy she used to know in that grown up man body of his, there was a good chance that the memory of their subtle touches helped him forgive the unforgivable. But Paige knew none of that mattered, not after all the shit that went down. For a while they were the secret glue that held all things together, but they screwed up somewhere along the way. They lost it and there was no going back.

"Once I saw how self-destructive and helpless you were, I realized there was no sense in doing this - making somebody I used to care about, suffer."

He paused for a moment in search for words. Suddenly his eyes were back on hers, harder than before.

"I hated you intensely. Until I realized it wasn't really hate, just red anger. I was angry for how things turned out, for what got lost and for what little had been gained. There was no reason for me not to forgive you when we were nothing to each other anymore."

Something broke between them long before she sent Sid to murder him. Yet the fact that everything got lost so quickly between them still hurt Paige to these days.

Her voice quivered slightly when she spoke. "That killed me, Mike. You forgiving me was the worst punishment of all."

"I know. Maybe deep down I knew it would wreck you. Just not to this point."

"Is that why you changed your mind? Is that why I'm here? Pity?"

Despite being a strong woman, Paige needed him to help fix her wounds. She needed answers. But she didn't want him to lie to her again. She didn't need him to make up some sorry excuse for inviting her over tonight.

If this was just a sick way to punish her even more, she would never recover from it.

"No." His tone was resolute and it left no doubt about the truth lying beneath his words. "You're here because I moved on the day I left Graceland. You didn't. You're still trapped in there and you have been for all this time."

Paige smiled sadly at him. "You've always been a step ahead of me."

Since they met, Mike had always known his place - always known what he wanted and where he stood. Even before _they_ started, he had known that they wouldn't be just a fling. That they would be real.

It took him dying for her to realize they had indeed been real.

"I'm glad you called." She whispered.

Taking her by surprise, Mike slid his hand towards her end of the counter and took her hand in his. His thumb brushed softly over the back, as his lips returned her small smile.

"Me too."


	3. Picket fence

**A/N: I barely had time to edit this, but thanks for reading, reviewing, favoriting, following, DMing. ;)**

* * *

They had dinner at his apartment the following night, too. This time around the coffee table in the dining room seemed a more appropriate choice. Mike didn't cook, Paige took care of everything.

She surprised him after a meeting at HQ. He found her sitting at his desk, spinning around in his chair with a breathtaking smile on her lips. A hint of sadness could still be seen beyond her cheery facade.

The pizza box she surprised him was now laying long forgotten on the floor.

"I really loved you."

All of a sudden, out of the blue, Mike felt the urge to share with her what he had never been able to say when they were together.

Their laughter had barely faded when those words slipped out of his mouth, as naturally as they popped up in his mind years ago. He stared at her, devoid of any expression, eyes glazed over.

"I think I loved you more than I was capable of. So much that it consumed me."

He was lying sideways. One arm was bent on the back of the couch to support his head, his other hand steadying his glass of wine. Paige brought a few bottles herself - those good ones Mike never knew how to choose.

Her eyes were warm as they silently settled on him. A bitter smile covered her lips and she stirred the wine around in her own glass. "And me. No one other than you had so much of me in so little time, Mike. You managed to make me so happy and hurt me so much, but I wouldn't swap what we had for the world..."

Mike shuffled on the couch. He reached out to brush her ebony hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear.

Paige took one more sip. It warmed her in the stomach and clouded her mind a little more: maybe it was the wine talking for both. They had managed to reach a neutral zone, ready to permanently clear away the past. What was the point in bringing up feelings that weren't anymore?

His thumb traced the line of her jaw down to her chin. He slowly dropped his hand back in his lap, not sure of where this was going. He didn't know what made him start this conversation. Something inside of him pushed him to say those words. Perhaps, somewhere deep down, there was something left of the old Mike that once inhabited his body.

"I loved what you _were_. I didn't fall in love with what's so easy to see in you - anyone would be able to do that, you're so beautiful and you know it. "

Paige leaned her head against the sofa. Her temples were throbbing. Her head was spinning. For a moment there she almost thought it was the effect of his words on her.

"Just not you. You looked over all of that and didn't run away when you saw how flawed I am."

Mike nodded.

"I loved everything about you."

Her hand rest on his chest. His heart didn't speed up under her touch like it used to. A few minutes of silence passed before his hand came up to rest on hers, catching her off guard.

She watched him drink slowly, unaware of her eyes on him.

 _'I don't care about all the lies that tore us apart. I wish it didn't end like this. I made you believe that I'd erase every moment spent with you. I could never, ever do that, Mike. I gave you the best part of me.'_

That was all she wanted to tell him in that moment. She didn't want it to end there. Love was gone, but what about friendship? There was a good chance that couldn't be saved either, but if Mike was willing to try, she would give anything to fix things up. However, she knew that had been swept off the table too.

Yet she still wasn't ready to lose him forever. She'd thought she was but would she ever be ready for something like that?

Paige would have to forget him along with the best of her. Because once she'd catch her flight back to LA the next morning, nothing would ever be the same.

"Is that your girlfriend?"

The question escaped her lips before she could stop herself. Mike followed her gaze to the framed photograph on the bookshelf that caught her attention: he looked happy in the picture, even though his smile was off and his eyes weren't that shiny shade of blue from his rookie days. A hazel eyed brunette was leaning on his chest, smiling into the camera.

Paige's hand slowly slid down his chest and fell back on the couch. Shortly after, the glass came up to her lips again.

"More or less. We went out a couple times. Nothing serious."

"Mhmmm. Is that why you have it framed?" Paige teased him with a small smile. It felt nice that he'd lie about being happy just because she hadn't been for the past three years. It gave her hope that somehow she hadn't destroyed everything about his old self. She shot the photo one last quick look. "She's pretty."

Mike smiled, but kept silent. Fair enough. Silence means consent.

"You deserve to be happy, Mike. You really do. "

"You too."

Paige laughed, finishing her wine. Mike's eyes continued to follow her movements.

He contemplated her face. The sweet line of her nose. Her high cheekbones. Her heart shaped lips. Her doe eyes. The way her long eyelashes curled everytime she blinked. Everything he had loved about her was still there. But the thrill he used to feel when she was around was missing.

A thrill that he hardly believed he'd ever feel again. No other woman would ever be able to make him feel that. Not even the girl he'd been with for about a year and a half now.

It was lost with the memory of _them_.

"Oh, c'mon. You can have your white picket fence family, a house full of screaming brats and a golden retriever drooling all over your shoes. But me? No way." She brushed him off, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger.

"Why's that?"

Shrugging slightly, she let out a soft chuckle, her eyes low. "Those are things that people like me can't have. I'm just not worth it."

Paige had given that up a long time ago. Starting a family had never been in her plans. But she couldn't deny feeling a certain envy for Charlie and Briggs. They healed their wounds and moved on. She had seen Charlie's eyes during her pregnancy. Those sweet and shiny momma eyes that she would never get to have.

And it was fine. Or at least, it was until Mike's heavy words tore her inside again.

"I used to want all of those things with you."

The bile rose in her throat as her breath became ragged under his stare and she finally admitted to herself what she was afraid to say out loud. What had scared her off two years before.

' _I loved you too.'_


	4. Closure

**A/N: a few more chaps left, I'll probably post them all by the end of the week before I crawl back into my hole and let better writers do their "job" lol *cough* somewhereinthedreams, msjgatsby, Ghostwriter62, Aksannyi and more *cough***

 **Paige going back to her natural hair color (Erica Reed in BK) was made on purpose, both to show how lost she was after what happened and to relate her to Mike's current GF in this chapter (the first OC in this story).**

 **P.S. No editing for this either.**

* * *

The dark DC skyline and the glittering lights reflected on the walls through the large panoramic window. It was snowing outside and soon enough everything would be covered by a thin layer of snow. Mike wasn't even sure she'd ever seen snowy nights like this before.

It was late. The blanket was new, it still had its price tag on, but it spread a nice warmth from where it coverd him up to his waist. His head was resting on the armrest and his knees were bent, as he quietly lay down.

He went to sleep two hours earlier, yet he was still there, staring at the ceiling with his eyes wide open. An unknown feeling of uneasiness made it impossible for him to fall into a deep slumber. Mike just couldn't sleep. His back was stiff against the softness of the couch. It was like his body was refusing to rest.

Then his phone lighted up. Again. The vibration permeated his chest, but he didn't flinch. It was only a matter of time. This was the fourth call he got from _her_ tonight, after all. She called three times before - three times Mike rejected the call.

He managed to ignore her all night long. He didn't know what excuse he would have to come up with, but it was the right time to pick up the phone now.

He knew her, she wasn't going to hold it against him. 'A meeting at HQ took more than expected, it wasn't his fault'. As usual, 'his job was literally drying him up'. She would probably tell him to take a break and everything would be fine between them. _'It's not healthy, Mike. Get some rest.'_

The image of the smiling girl with dark hair kept flashing in front of his eyes. His finger approached the screen to take the call.

Just as he was about to, a rustle of sheets distracted him and his eyes got drawn like magnets to the open door of his bedroom. He was afraid she woke up and he was going to hear her voice, but then the noise ceased.

Mike held his breath for a moment that felt like a lifetime.

From his position on the couch, he had a perfect view of his bedroom. He could clearly make out in the dark the silhouette of a huddled, small lump under a mountain of blankets. A patch of dark ebony hair was scattered all over the white pillowcase and peeked through the crack between the sheets.

* * *

 _They were laughing wholeheartedly when she set the glass on the coffee table and made a move to stand up. Her fingers swiped under eyes to dry a few tears that had escaped from laughing so hard. How long had it been since Mike had such a light and good time? He couldn't even seem to remember._

 _No work, no relationship problems. Just funny memories to share._

 _"Well, it's getting pretty late, I better go."_

 _Mike breathed deeply as his own fit of laughter died down. He jolted up when he saw her swaying a little and instantly bringing her fingers to her temple. He stood up straight and wrapped his own fingers around her elbow._

 _Their eyes met in a silent stare: '_ You okay? _'. Paige dismissed him with a faint smile and a little nod and headed towards the stools in the kitchen to retrieve her coat._

 _Mike gulped down the rest of his wine and followed her. DC was significantly cooler than LA, seeing Paige completely covered in sweaters and heavy coats was strange and unusual._

 _Before he knew it was happening, he found himself gently grasping her wrist to get her attention. Her green eyes stared at him in some sort of disbelief. As if his touch were the last thing she'd ever expect to feel on her skin. His voice came out low and deep._

 _"You can stay here, if you want. My bed is big enough."_

 _His face flamed up the second his words echoed in the air. An awkward silence fell upon them. He didn't know why he chose such an equivocal combination of words. Maybe the wine had gotten to his brains and pushed him to make such a proposal. Or maybe it was the familiar warmth those anecdotes of his time at Graceland had arisen in him._

 _He lowered his hand back in his pockets, trying to get some distance between them. As if that were enough to magically fix the mess he'd just made._

 _"I don't think that's a good idea… I don't want to kick you out of your own bed." Paige chewed on her lip, looking away._

 _The whole purpose to this reunion was to turn their backs to the past. However, it was like neither of them were really ready to say goodbye. Paige thought she was the one who wouldn't be able to let go, but as shocking as it was, Mike wasn't about to hand her over to the future. Apparently, not just yet._

 _"The couch is pretty comfortable, I'll be fine." Mike saw the hesitation in her eyes, but he kept trying. He didn't even know why, he just did. "C'mon, we've lived together for months, I can't just let you call a cab at this time of the night. There's a good chance your driver could be a maniac."_

 _"Mike, I - what about my stuff? And I have a flight to catch tomorrow morning, I don't think-"_

 _"You can borrow my clothes and we'll stop by your hotel to grab your stuff on the way to the airport_."

 _A minute of silence passed as Paige's eyes settled everywhere but on him, sighing. Finally, she showed a hint of a smile and her coat slipped off her shoulders._

 _"Alright… This wine did make me a lil bit too sleepy, after all."_

* * *

Mike's eyes took in her crumpled clothes resting on a chair. Her shoes were discarded upside down on the floor.

Everything was still around him. It felt like time had stopped. As if nothing had happened between them, as if the page was still completely blank and had yet to be written.

His thumb hesitantly hovered over the screen before pressing down. His phone stopped vibrating and the image of the girl turned small, shifting to the left corner of the screen.

 _4 missed calls._

Mike didn't even clear them out when he placed the phone on the coffee table and got up to head straight to the bedroom. Leaving the past hours and the entire world behind.

When he reached the bed, he took a few moments to stare down at her sleeping face. If he thought things through, he'd probably make the safest decision and turn around before it was too late. If he let their lost memories get the best of him, he wouldn't be able to stay away. And getting lost into Paige right now was the worst option he had. He needed to get a grip. What the hell was he thinking, asking her to stay the night?

He should go back to the couch, call Margot and apologize for ignoring her all night long. Maybe even leave to spend the night at her house and come back in the early morning before Paige woke up.

But then his hand tentatively brushed away a few strands of hair that had fallen over her closed eyes. His fingertips traced her lips and slowly skimmed down her throat.

A slight knot formed in his stomach and twisted on itself so harshly that butterflies started fluttering around. It wasn't like before, when it used to happen all the time, but it was still there - the thrill he thought he'd never get to feel again. It wasn't as powerful, in fact it was rather weak, nonetheless he couldn't manage to take a step back and let his brain take over.

He didn't know whether it was the fact that tomorrow she would leave and everything would be gone forever, or perhaps that they had finally defeated the demons of their past – accomplished their last joint OP, _together_.

But it did happen.

Mike knelt down next to the bed and pressed his lips against her soft and pink parted ones.

He probably lingered longer than he thought, because when he finally pulled away, her green eyes were staring up at him. Stunned and glossy from sleep, yet completely awake.

"Mike."

It wasn't a reproach. Not a question. Paige simply whispered out his name and it was enough to make his mind drift away from reality. His hand tenderly cupped her cheek. No other word was shared as he leaned closer to her face again.

Had it been any other situation, Paige would've pushed him away. She had just begun getting out of the mess the past two years had been, such a thing would shove her back into the abyss.

But she didn't push him away. It clashed in the overall picture, but it felt almost necessary to permanently draw a line between them. Between what they had been and what they would never be again. A _closure_.

Both tried to convince themselves that with their eyes shut tight the rest would vanish. And oddly enough, that was exactly what happened.

Mike's hand slid down her shoulder and over the sleeve of the old sweatshirt that he lent her for the night and couldn't help but think of how beautiful she looked. His fingers traced the back of her hand, drew circles on her knucles, and then moved down to rest on her hip - their eyes locked together. The blankets slid down her body with every slight movement. Their breaths mingled together each time they got a little bit closer.

Paige laid still and only reached up to thread her fingers through his hair when her hand cupped the back of his head and their foreheads touched.

Mike's thumb slipped under the hem of his sweatshirt and stroked the skin of her thigh in circles, slowly hitching the fabric up. But it was only when he felt her relax that he slipped between the covers she finally held up for him to get in.

The mattress creaked under his weight. Paige wrapped him in her arms as he rolled over her - their lips crashed together in a kiss that was no consolation, no farewell for now.

Simply a kiss that would let them live.


	5. Snap

**A/N: Somebody said something about Toros and Paige and I'm sorry for the rant that's going to follow, but I just wanna say that I did freak out yesterday when I read what would happen, but I was really hoping Paige wouldn't do anything like that, that she would fight him. Well, I was pretty close lol**

 **I was ready to start skipping Paige's scenes and keep watching just for the other character's storyline, because if Paige did consent to that so easily and let him beat her up, well... let's say she would fall off my fave character list on the spot.**

 **To be honest, I'm loving season 3 so far - great storylines, great production and direction, BUT I hate what they're doing to Paige. I know I'm used to write her off as a sensitive character, which she absolutely is, but she's also a badass. A great agent who knows how to get the job done without losing herself in the process (yes, Season 2 was a HUGE MISTAKE). If she went through with that, she would've basically trashed her own self. I can't think of Paige as somebody who would let go of her morals so easily and just let Toros do what he wanted with her.**

 **So I may or may not have pumped my fist in the air when Paige did what she did last night.**

 **I get that what happened with Mike messed up with her head and that losing Colby not long after was a shock too, but personally I'm not a fan of where Paige currently stands right now in the season. Storylines change, characters change, people change, but I'm not afraid to say I want Paige to go back to herself and I'm SO, SO, SO glad about what happened yesterday, because it shows that she's still there somewhere.**

 **Hopefully the writers will give us more of that and less tongue wrestling with Toros in future eps (let's make this straight, Val is an amazing actor, but his character is just... useless, not to the Armenian storyline, but to Paige's, for obvious reasons - Ari is definitely the best out of the two, even if he's a psychopath).**

 **One more thing: I'm a Pike shipper (obviously lol) but I really don't think they'll ever let Mike and Paige get back together on the show. Hopefully they will, but my hopes are really low. So if anybody has any idea floating around in their brain for a fic, write it! ;)**

* * *

"Oh, these are lovely. We look great!"

Moving the curtain, they eagerly hustled out. Their laughter had yet to completely vanish when Paige tore the strip of snapshots away from the machine.

"Which one do you want?" Paige asked, her smile still fresh on her lips as she looked back at him.

They laughed more in the past three days together than they had in the past two years.

Mike leaned forward to peer over her shoulder. Grasping her hip, he could feel her childish excitement radiating from her body thanks to that little 'dream' of hers they'd just made come true. Truth to be told, he didn't care at all.

He didn't need that, but she did.

* * *

 _"We don't have any pictures together, you know." Paige said as she absentmindedly nibbled on a red licorice, wrapped up in his sheets._

 _Mike's head was resting on her belly as he lay sideways, a bag of licorices resting on his chest. Her favorites._

 _It was just a coincidence though, Mike made sure to let her know that his pre-school teacher girlfriend had a weird obsession with red licorices too, bluntly implying that sleeping with her that night had been far off his mind._

 _"Yes, we do. Fourth of July, remember? I think I still have it somewhere."_

 _The sheets smelled fresh and clean, despite their passionate activities. She still had to wrap her head around the fact that she'd been in his arms again not even two hours before. However, their clothes laid forgotten and piled up disastrously at the foot of the bed - undeniable proofs that it had all been real. They spent the night together._

 _"No, I mean, one of our own. Just the two of us,_ together _."_

 _Mike stared at the ceiling in silence. Her fingers crept between the matted tufts on the top of his head. It would be great to have something to remember him by, she would love to have just one thing that could remind her of that short-lived happiness they once shared._

 _Her eyes focused on him as her nails lightly scratched the side of his head, relieved that he wasn't looking at her in return._

 _He was so different. The last time she'd looked at him that attentively, she saw the ruins of a broken man. Now all she could see were shards that had been put back together by somebody else. It made her heart ache to know that she was the one who shattered him, but that it wasn't her glueing those pieces back together now._

 _Her thumb brushed over his temple._

 _"Did it hurt?"_

 _Of course it had hurt. Paige didn't know what made her ask that while they were just drinking in each other's presence after a night spent feeling his breath on her skin, his hands all over her body. His low whispers like wrecking balls inside her head._

 _Mike didn't answer immediately. For a moment she thought he didn't hear her, but then she felt him shift on her stomach._

 _"What? Dying?" He wondered, chewing on his own piece of candy. Paige sighed, retrieving her hand from his head._ _"No. Or at least, not too much. I mean, it did at first but then it was... a relief. Kind of. I don't really know how to explain it. It's a weird kind of pain. Not just physical, more like... psychological - you know the end is near and you can't do anything to stop it. That it's out of your own control."_

 _It took Paige all of her willpower not to sob. Her eyes filled up with tears. She'd just made him relive the worst moment of his life. Yet, his words soft and relaxed. As if he were narrating with the voice of someone else. His eyes dull and staring off into space._

 _The air was thick with emotion, but Paige could feel it - a raw, almost fierce strength coming from his body._

 _She winced when his hand surprisingly squeezed hers._

 _Mike brushed his nose against the skin of her palm and pressed a kiss to her pulse before lacing their fingers. It was as if Mike was there with her. The old Mike. The one that could read every sign of her body, every little quirk of her dark mind._

 _The one that would do anything to protect her, even from herself._

 _"Promise me you'll move on."_

 _"Will you?"_

 _He turned slowly to stare into her eyes. His serious face made her heart skip a beat. Neither of them dared to speak, too lost in the moment._

 _"I already have."_

 _And suddenly he was too close._

 _Mike crawled back on top of her, pressing their bodies together, and kissed the corner of her mouth. The adrenalin, the desire, the fear and the excitement of that night blended together into a vortex of feelings. This was the last time they would ever be this close and even though time seemed to have stopped, they both knew it was just a matter of hours before they had to go back to reality._

 _Circling his shoulders with one arm, Paige looked up at him in silence, tracing his lips before kissing him again._

 _"I promise."_

 _When she woke up hours later, a strong hand hung loosely around her waist and a nice warmth spread over her back. She could feel Mike's hot breath blowing over her shoulder and she shivered unconsciously. She blinked several times, adjusting to the light. Once fully awake, she carefully turned over in his embrace and smiled at his sleepy face. She knew that everything would be gone once she left that bed, so she did her best to savor every second they had left and just watched him sleep._

 _Using the knuckle of her finger, Paige slowly traced the outline of his face. Mike stirred, but she didn't stop, too busy trying to imprint every line of his features in her mind, careful enough not to wake him._

 _An empty feeling rushed through her when she realized what this truly meant. The moment she'd been waiting for so long was finally here, the moment of a final closure that would set her free._

 _And still somehow that moment had suddenly become her biggest fear._

* * *

"This one..."

Mike's voice was warm and soft in her ears, like a whisper already too far in the past, as he pointed to the bottom.

There was the old Paige, with that breathtaking smile that was just as bright as it used to be.

In the small snapshot, she was leaning forward, looking carefree as she hadn't been for some time now. She planned to do a fun pose, sensually biting her fingernail as she winked in the camera, but at the very last second she lost her balance and erupted in laughter. Mike grasped her side just in time when he felt her crumbling off his lap, steadying her on his knees. Her long black hair fell over her face, covering her eyes, but making her smile pop out even more.

They exchanged a knowing look. It was the last photo they would ever take together. It made sense that he kept _that_ _one_.

Paige quickly fumbled into her bag and ripped away the last three photos from the six they took. She pressed them in his palm, before the speakers went off and called for the boarding of her flight again. Glancing quickly at the boards, she bit her lip to hold back her smile.

"Thanks for taking me to the airport." Mike shrugged in response and her smile grew brighter when her hand playfully caressed his cheek. "Stay away from psycho DEA ex girlfriends, okay?"

He chuckled under his breath and put his hands in his coat, shifting on his feet.

"And you stay out of trouble. Don't kill anyone on the way home."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, a slight smile on their faces. They wouldn't kiss, no. And they wouldn't shake hands. Paige would just grab her suitcase and go. Back to her life, right where she belonged.

And he would do the same.

"Mike... _thank you_." She whispered, letting her thumb lingering on his lower lip, before she finally lowered her hand and took a step back. "For everything."

"You were lost, Paige. And I was glad to be the answer."

That was the perfect moment for a perfect kiss. One of those beautiful, slow-motion, passionate kisses that would have every girl swoon. Instead, Mike closed the distance between them and cupped the back of her head. His lips pressed firmly to her forehead and for the first time in years, Paige felt completely at peace. No baggage, no burden.

Her hand held onto the hem of his coat, not ready to let go.

"Don't lose yourself again, Paige."

It shouldn't be this hard. It should be easier for her to let go from something that'd hurt both of them so bad.

Paige nodded slowly, biting back the emotion that was engulfing her in a lonely bubble. Her eyes searched his. When green met blue, everything changed and every doubt and insecurity she had faded away. She instantly felt light and free.

Once again their smiles spoke a thousand words for them as they gained more and more space between them.

Slowly, Paige walked backwards to her gate. A laugh and a wink were the last things Mike was able to impress in his memory before she disappeared through the doors and from his life. Forever.

"I left my number on the back. No bullshit, keep in touch! And if you happen to be in LA sometime... you know where to find me!"

Then Paige was gone. With that teasing tone of hers she'd used since the night they met.

Mike turned the snapshots in his hands. His thumb rubbed over the rough surface of the last shot. He saw her dressed as a hooker, a pregnant woman, a street dealer's groupie, but it was only when he saw her dressed as Paige that he truly fell in love with her. Not the Paige everybody knew, but the girl in jeans with no make up on that used to wear nothing but smiles all the time. Getting him helpless, leaving him breathless, taking his breath away every time he woke up next to her.

Her eyes would be like bright chips in the gloomy amber of dawn - he loved the way those tiny specks of golden dust adorned her green of her eyes, making him feel nothing but adoration for her.

That Paige went missing for a while, but now she was back, ready to take the world by storm.

Mike broke into a smile at the thought and, turning the pictures around, ran his eyes over the fine lines of fresh ink that composed her number.

Finally, he walked toward the exit - Paige's laughing face fell further down his pockets.

They both knew that number would never be used.


	6. Kryptonite

**_15 months later..._**

"I talked to Margot today."

Paige froze in her chair when she heard Mike's voice. She didn't have to turn around to know he was leaning against her door, watching her. Taking a deep breath, she set her pen down and stared ahead of her. Ready to take it all in. Ready to face what she knew was coming.

"And?"

Not moving from his spot, Mike lowered his eyes and shrugged. "We talked."

That wasn't exactly the answer she was hoping for but Paige nodded and got up to walk over to him.

Exactly one year before Paige came back home and found Mike waiting for her. He was supposed to go back to DC a week later, but he never did. The official reason was that he needed some time to heal, but they both knew there was something else to it.

* * *

 _When Paige opened the door, her room was completely dark. She rubbed her eyes and lazily moved towards the desk where she dropped her keys. She needed to change: it wasn't even midnight yet, but those nights of early summer were perfect to have fun and let go with Dan after a long day of work._

 _"Don't."_

 _Her fingers had just brushed the light switch when a warm voice startled her. She whirled around, her heart racing at the speed of light._ _In the darkness, she could barely see Mike sitting on her bed. His blank and tired stare fixed on her. Paige couldn't mask her worry when she focused her eyes on him in return._

 _This was strange. He should be in DC. He was getting married._

 _"Jesus, Mike! What are you doing here?" She walked slowly towards him, scanning the severe lines of his face. Something was wrong._

 _"I flew in this morning. Briggs needs a hand on a case. The house was empty, I figured I could wait here for..."_

 _"What about your fiancée?"_

 _Her eyes flicked instinctively to his left hand. Mike didn't move._

 _"It didn't work out. We called off the wedding."_

 _Paige put her hand on his face. For sure, it was more tense than it looked like. "Are you okay?"_

 _"I don't feel anything." His voice came out mechanical and devoid of any emotion. Just like the last time she'd heard those same words rushing through his lips, three months before. "Nothing at all."_

 _Paige sat down on her bed next to him and grasped his knee. It'd been two months since she'd last heard from him, and now there he was, sitting on her back. Hurting._ _"Mike. Hey," w_ _hen she'd given him her number again, she knew they wouldn't keep in touch. She had no idea why he was here now. Briggs mentioned something about a particular case that was giving him some problems, but it wasn't just that._ _She could feel it._

 _"_ _She lost it. She lost_ the baby _."_

 _Despite being completely unaware of his girlfriend's pregnancy, Paige felt her heart sink and her insides churn._

 _"_ _God…"_

Mike cut her off before she could say anything else.

 _"Two months ago, actually." Her eyes flipped back to his face when she heard him laugh nervously._ _His voice was calm, too calm._

 _She could picture him in the hall, hands in his hair as he tried to cling to anything that could give him an explanation._ _It'd been atrocious when it happened to Charlie too. The world stopped making sense to her the moment her baby was gone._ _"Oh, Mike, I -_ _I wish I could help. If there's something I can do for you, anything..._ be there for you _, I don't know..."_

 _"You can do many things but nothing's going to bring my son back, Paige, not even you."_

 _Paige took that as an opportunity to take a deep breath - h_ _er head was spinning and she didn't even know why._

 _"Paige... tell me something. Anything. I need to - oh, God. Just forget it, you've had a long day."_

 _Paige struggled to curb the urge to reach out for him and watched him make a beeline to the door, chewing on her lip. Hard._ _She sighed heavily. The bitterness in his voice was beyond painful. But as far as she was concerned, she would gladly deal with Mike taking it all out on her if that meant he would feel better. She owed it to him._

 _"Do you want me to stay and talk?"_

 _Much to her surprise, Mike didn't reject her offer. He stalled at the door for a while, before finally giving in and plopping down next to her again. With_ _her knees drawn to her chest and her head resting against the wall_ _Paige was able to rest on her pillows and just listen to him all night long as he opened up to her. She was able to really_ be there for him _, somehow. It was only when he was already halfway through the door that she checked the time and realized they'd been up until dawn._

 _She glanced quickly down at the phone in her hands, taking in all the missing calls from Dan and made a mental note to ring him up, first thing in the morning, and apologize for standing him up. Suddenly it didn't feel like her main priority anymore and, dropping her phone on her nightstand, she followed Mike and grabbed his hand to stop him before he could open the door._

 _When he turned around, Paige stroked his face. One hand through his hair, the other on his cheek._

 _Mike closed his eyes, sitting down on her bed again. The only thing he could feel was the tip of her fingers brushing over his skin. That night he spat out word after word like they were poison, his anger seeping from every syllable that came out of his mouth. No matter how many times he swore he was okay, she knew he really wasn't._

 _"Mike..."_

 _Their eyes met instantly as Mike looked up at her. Her dark hair tickled his face as she looked back down at him. Her hazel-green eyes watched him with tenderness, but his stare made her shiver. It was empty, almost as cold as ice._

 _Then it happened. Mike grabbed her face and smashed his lips over hers. He needed to feel something. Anything._

 _Paige closed her eyes for a few seconds before slowly prying herself away from him. Her hands settled on his chest to restrain him._

 _"No, Mike. You're still in shock, you're upset and I - I can't." She whispered. Paige felt her body giving in. She knew it was going to happen - she would never be able to turn her back to him. Not after everything that had happened between them._

 _But she had to at least make an effort. Ray was a good guy. He didn't deserve this. "I have a life now." Paige whispered, more to herself than Mike._

 _The cards were reversed now: she'd managed to find some sort of serenity and happiness and he lost that._

 _Mike stood up and put his arm around her waist, his forehead on hers._

 _"Sorry, I'm sorry. You're right, it's just that… I feel so empty, and-"_

 _This time it was Paige who reached up and deeply kissed him. Slowly, she peeled his shirt off of him and let it fall to the ground. It wasn't long before they were clinging to each other between the sheets. Mike's hands were raw and fast on her body. His kisses were rough and greedy, his pricking murmurs like knives through her skin._

* * *

The loss of his child had dug deeper holes in his fragile soul, but it had also pushed him to make the big step and stay true to his self: he didn't want a desk job, a normal life - that was in the past with what he once was. Since coming to Graceland, all he'd ever wanted was to work in the field - to be an undercover agent. Losing something so important to him only made working undercover more appealing.

He'd become addicted to adrenaline and the thrill of risking his life each day.

"How's your arm?" Paige brushed her fingers along his bicep. Her thumb hovered over the spot where the bullet had gone through his skin. She lost count of how many times Mike had put his life in danger during one of his OPs - he had become so reckless and was always ready to jump in action, no matter how dangerous it was - but she felt responsible for this. That morning Mike got hurt because of her team and she couldn't forgive herself for letting that happen.

His hand covered hers and suddenly her lips were dry in regret. "Through and through, no major damages. It doesn't even hurt that much anymore."

His warm and reassuring tone didn't help. It was like reliving the aftermaths of his death all over again, when all she could think about was how it was all her fault.

"Paige," Mike murmured.

Paige felt his fingers cupping her chin and lifting her head up. Her eyes went from his wound to his eyes. Her fists rested on his chest and she took a deep breath.

She needed to get a hold of herself, she couldn't fall back into this. She needed to fight it.

Before she finally did that, Mike brushed his mouth over hers and Paige's dress found its way down on the floor.

* * *

 _When Paige saw Mike being treated by a paramedic the blood in her veins rushed furiously to her head. They lost sight of each other once they were inside the building, but the raid took less that 10 minutes because of the efficiency of the TAC team she was running._

 _Their joint OP went smoothly, so why the hell was Mike treating a gunshot wound on his arm? Apparently one of her guys took too long to jump into action due to his equipment being misplaced. That had sent her in a blind rage. They were supposed to back him up, not get him killed._

 _Everybody at the warehouse saw and heard her screaming her lungs out at her team. And Dan._

 _"_ _That's him, isn't he?"_

 _Paige lifted her head from the headrest and turned to look at the brunette guy driving her home. "What?"_

 _"_ _Warren," he clarified. "He's your '_ complicated guy _', right? The one that broke you?"_

 _Paige bit her lip to keep silent. She met Dan a few weeks after coming back from DC. Back then she was still a little messy and it took her a while to fully get back on her feet, so when he transferred from San Francisco to LA he found her still transitioning to her new self. They never talked about it because she never wanted to, all he knew was that her last relationship ended on a really bad note and she was still struggling to pick up the pieces._

 _Paige eventually healed and found Dan still waiting for her. It was just a matter of time until they became an item._

 _"_ _The way you freaked out about him today… it was pretty obvious." His voice was raspy and raw, as if he was holding himself back._

 _Paige tore her eyes away and went back to stare at the road, hoping he'd let it drop._

 _But he didn't._

 _"_ _You never told me what happened."_

 _"_ _That's because there's nothing to tell." Paige lied, gripping her car door handle._ _"_ _He didn't break me, don't talk about stuff you know nothing about."_

 _What happened was all her fault. Apart from covering up Lina's murder, Mike had never purposefully hurt her. She wouldn't let him take the blame for her, even though he wasn't there._

 _"_ _Well that's because you don't talk to me! Do I have to start wishing he didn't make it today, Paige? Tell me, you love him?"_

 _Paige's jaw dropped when Dan slammed his hand on the steering wheel. It was the first time she saw him losing his temper like that. Especially with her. She was at loss for words. Not because he was screaming at her, but because what he had implied made her heart stop._

 _Mike not making it was the biggest fear she had since he flatlined._

 _"_ _Stop the car." She hissed through her teeth, clenching her fists. She wouldn't stay to hear him wishing Mike was dead._

 _"_ _Answer me. Do you still love him?"_

 _"_ _Stop the car!"_

 _"_ _No!"_

 _When Dan pushed her hand away from the steering wheel Paige felt her blood pressure rising up for the second time that day._

 _"_ _What the hell do you want me to say? That I love him? Is that what you wanna hear? Mike is important to me and he will always be but I'm not a whore. I'm with you, ain't that good enough for you?"_

 _"_ _I want you to stay away from him." His eyes were hard as he glanced at her shocked face. "I want you to stop seeing him."_

 _"_ _We live in the same house!"_

 _"_ _You can avoid him, you can stop talking to him, you can-" Dan sighed, looking away from her. "You can move in with me."_

 _That was the fourth time he asked her, but u_ _sing Mike as a way to trick her into moving in with him was cruel and all around wrong. However she understood where he was coming from -_ _Dan had walked in on them fooling around like idiots during surveillance, eating liquorices together, planning pranks, she even stood him up once to keep Mike company when he got the flu._

 _After all he did to help her heal, he didn't deserve what she was doing to him. Maybe it was time to leave Graceland and Mike behind._

 _Sighing, Paige leaned her temple on the window, finally giving in._

 _"_ _Fine."_

 _But when Dan squeezed her knee, she couldn't stop herself from picturing a certain pair of blue eyes looking back at her._

* * *

As Mike lay asleep in her bed, Paige took her time to stare down at his face. All that suffering had taken a toll on him and his skin was so tense under her fingers.

It was the second time they ended up in bed together. The first time was the night he came back, when she found him in her room and washed away his pain in the only way she knew.

It was no excuse, but all she was trying to do was being there for him, comforting him, healing him. Even if she doubted he'd ever heal.

This time - she didn't know why it actually happened. Maybe hearing from Margot after one whole year had brought back painful memories. She wasn't a cheater. But every time it happened, Dan was far from being on her mind. It was like nothing existed. It took them away from their sins, their mistakes, their flawed reality. For those few hours nothing could reach them.

Curling up next to him, Paige wrapped herself in Mike's arms and closed her eyes.

She wasn't a cheater. But this time Dan was _really_ far from being on her mind.

All she could think about was how moving in with him to stop herself from falling for Mike again felt like cheating. It felt like she was betraying Mike all over again.


End file.
